For some, love becomes conditioned base. You first become attracted to someone based on a set of conditions: personality, common interests, financial success, education, physique, to name a few on a very long list. They meet your conditions and you start a relationship. In a relationship, if your conditions continue to be met then love blossoms.
People fall out of love when these conditions are no longer met. The mind is continuously adjusting these conditions for the ideal relationship.
The neighbor’s wife got a new job and their financial situation has improved. She begins to tell you all about the new job and how they will be able to live their dream –the ability to move to a bigger house with more land, the ability to pay for their children’s college expenses, two weeks in Paris. Instantly, your mind wants that too. Your ideal relationship just changed. You now place more pressure on yourself and your spouse to acquire more money to meet your new ideals.
The mind is constantly in a state of comparison. The mind is non-stop with opinions and judgment — it becomes impossible to be fully content.
Through a process of self-discovery, you see how thoughts create discontent. Through self-discovery you become aware of your true nature that is beyond thoughts –this is awakening. In most cases the awakening fluctuates – you are aware of your true nature, however the mind still has the ability to trap you with opinions, judgments and beliefs. Through a mindfulness practice the awakening deepens.
Once you get beyond thoughts you find yourself in a permanent state of acceptance. You accept each moment as it is.
In this state of acceptance you no longer believe the judgments and opinions, which are created from the mind. You dismiss the mental noise coming from the mind.
Without the negative thoughts, how could you not love (accept) yourself? This love transitions to a love of all beings. You love all beings, as you love yourself. You discover that thoughts create a false sense of separation. Without thoughts you see how all beings are interconnected — there is a sense of oneness.
Beyond thoughts — all that remains is love.