Tag Archives: breaking routines

The First Step To Heal And Taking Back Control

I suffered for 30+ years with bipolar, multiple sclerosis, among other ailments.  I kept seeing my doctors who continued to prescribe medicine to fix me.

I can look back and see that I was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results – that is the definition of insanity.

I see that it was a deep rooted fear that by changing a normal routine would cause my health conditions to get worse.  My health was already dire, it couldn’t have gotten much worse.  I allowed myself to heal when I made a change to my normal routine.

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Finding True Freedom When The World Is Falling Apart

Finding true freedomThis was a challenging week, as most weeks are. Life is hard. There was a mixture of desirable and undesirable event, from a new office to a very sick father in intensive care (who has since made a remarkable recovery and is home).

This is all part of my life experience, and these have to be accepted fully. The mind will naturally try to alter the past by denying the current situation, and the past cannot be changed. If I did not accept these experiences or circumstances fully then I’ll give the mind fuel to create stress, anxiety, worry and fear. Accepting each moment is unnatural, since this is not normally taught.

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Reality clashes with the mind — dealing with my father’s health

My father is in the intensive care unit with kidney failure in septic shock (blood poisoning). We’re unsure if he is going to survive, but I have a hunch that the worst is over. Deep down, I realize my father’s spirit is perfect; it is his body that’s damaged.

When I reside in the present moment, I understand the situation clearly. If he does drop his body, I know he has simply returned to his natural form of pure consciousness.

My mind is always producing thoughts, always looking for a nugget to take me out of this moment. The mind is a storyteller trying to get me hooked into a story. I fell into the mind trap for decades and suffered great pain.

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Just sit with your damn mind!

Just sitAfter stepping out of the shower, I see my nude reflection in the mirror. Immediately, the mind begins to point out the flaws of my imperfect body.

Getting dressed is another challenge. The mind is telling me not to wear a certain pair of pants because they make me look fat. Then the mind is telling me to tuck in my shirt or I will look like a slob.

During breakfast the mind is dreading another day of the same crap. The mind begins to plot out the day making sure to note, “Don’t do something stupid!” I am now concerned about my words and actions. I’m afraid to be honest with anyone, since I want everyone to like me.

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All That Remains Is Love

For some, love becomes conditioned base. You first become attracted to someone based on a set of conditions: personality,  common interests,  financial success,  education,  physique, to name a few on a very long list.   They meet your conditions and you start a relationship.  In a relationship,   if your conditions continue to be met then love blossoms.

People fall out of love when these conditions are no longer met.  The mind is continuously adjusting these conditions for the ideal relationship.

The neighbor’s wife got a new job and their financial situation has improved. She begins to tell you all about the new job and how they will be able to live their dream –the ability to move to a bigger house with more land, the ability to pay for their children’s college expenses, two weeks in Paris.   Instantly, your mind wants that too.  Your ideal relationship just changed.  You now place more pressure on yourself and your spouse to acquire more money to meet your new ideals.

The mind is constantly in a state of comparison.  The mind is non-stop with opinions and judgment — it becomes impossible to be fully content.

Through a process of self-discovery, you see how thoughts create discontent.  Through self-discovery you become aware of your true nature that is beyond thoughts –this is awakening.   In most cases the awakening fluctuates – you are aware of your true nature, however the mind still has the ability to trap you with opinions, judgments and beliefs.   Through a mindfulness practice the awakening deepens.

Once you get beyond thoughts you find yourself in a permanent state of acceptance.    You accept each moment as it is.

In this state of acceptance you no longer believe the judgments and opinions, which are created from the mind.  You dismiss the mental noise coming from the mind.

Without the negative thoughts, how could you not love (accept) yourself?    This love transitions to a love of all beings.   You love all beings, as you love yourself.  You discover that thoughts create a false sense of separation.  Without thoughts you see how all beings are interconnected — there is a sense of oneness.

Beyond thoughts — all that remains is love.


Alone and Naked: Thoughts on the Impermanence of Stuff

legs_smallI stand alone and naked. Then I begin to wonder, What do I really own?  Do I really own anything?

When I gaze around the room I see all sorts of stuff — my neatly folded clothes, the wet shower curtain,   the wooden floor that I am standing on, the beige sink,  etc.  I would say that I own those things since I have purchased them. However, is that really true?

Then I look closer at all the stuff and release their impermanent nature. Even the Earth and Sun are impermanent. I realize that everything I can perceive with my eyes will not be here forever — stuff can last from a fraction of a second to billions of years.

Then I my thoughts drift to wonderment about why folks cling to their possessions. Some gain an identity because of the stuff they own. This identity gives them a sense of importance — I own this rare sports car therefore I am special. Some folks believe that owning stuff creates happiness. They fail to realize the impermanent nature of objects, and their happiness from ownership is fleeting. No matter where there look outside themselves, they will not find permanent happiness.

I then realize when I own something — I’m only borrowing it for this moment. All objects will return to its natural state as raw material –quantum particles.

Everything is made of the same quantum particles. The particles dance around to form specific atoms to give us the building blocks to create objects we can perceive.

I can only think of one thing that is impermanent — energy.

How can I make claim to energy disguised as some object, when at the core it is the same energy that is within me?

In the end, I realize that I don’t own anything.  Looking closer at myself, standing here, all alone and naked.   I realize that I am nothingness.

I’m Worried About You

worriedI was very sickly growing up.   My mom would frequently say, “I’m worried about you.”

Stating that you are worried about a person — to the person — is the worst thing you can do for them.  When I was growing up, I had no idea of the power behind my mother’s statements.

There are two categories of emotions: love and fear. All emotions can be traced back to one of these two categories.

Each emotion has an energetic charge to it. Energy attracts like energy. If someone is upbeat or positive and enters your space you will notice that you will  feel their uplifting attitude. If someone is complaining or yelling and enters your space you will notice that you will  feel their down-beat attitude.

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What Seeds are Being Planted to Help Your Personal Growth?

personal growthLife is always giving us what we need at this time — we simply need to pay attention to this moment.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I took a writing course from Joshua Fields Millburn (JFM).    In the course he mentioned blog sites that he likes: Colin Wright, AJ Leon and several others. I began to read their sites and follow them on social media with hopes that I may learn some writing and blogging tidbits.  I saw a post from Colin where he listed an event called the Instigator Experiment led by his friend Srinivas Rao.

I felt an impulse to read through the website for the event — nine speakers and a limit of 60 attendees.  I like small events and I only knew one speaker: AJ Leon.  Seeing AJ Leon’s name was a confirmation; I immediately knew that this was the next step after the writing course.  The universe is giving me another experience to grow.

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The Madness of Black Friday and Cyber Monday

black friday and cyber mondayToday marks the start of the holiday shopping season in the U.S. The day after Thanksgiving is Black Friday, followed by Cyber Monday. This is when stores make 40 percent of their sales for the year.

Black Friday and Cyber Monday are good examples of people going with the flow. Trying to acquire “stuff” that isn’t necessary for survival. I was there in the past, trying to get a good deal on “stuff.” That one item you are buying may be cheap but how many times to you end up with more than one item? The resellers know how to maximize your visit to their store and have the know-how to squeeze that extra dollar from you.

If you have to pay for this “stuff” with a credit card or forced to buy less of the basics needed to survive, then you have been fooled by the mind. The mind chatter tells us that we are lacking if we don’t acquire this “stuff.” After a little time has passed, when the credit card bill arrives, you have buyer’s remorse. You were expecting this “stuff” to make you happy indefinitely. The mind tricked you that getting this “stuff” would solve all your problems. You cannot buy happiness; true lasting happiness is within you.

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Can I Count You as Sane?

saneI can count all the sane people that I know on one hand.  Most are unaware of their insanity.

The insanity originates from the non-stop mental chatter of the mind.  The mind tells you how to behave — the mind wants you working out for endless hours at the gym; the mind wants you to find a new spouse; the mind wants you to punch your neighbor in the face; the mind wants you to voice hate against another race; the mind wants to jerk you around, like a leashed dog pulling you down the street after he catches a glimpse of a cat.  This uncontrollable dog rules his master.

The insane are possessed by thoughts. Thoughts create opinions, and judgments — good, bad, right, wrong, happy, sad, love, hate. Thoughts are the root of suffering. Suffering occurs when the mind demands a specific outcome, and the outcome is not met.

Reality is neutral. Thoughts transform nothing into something.

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